08-05-12

Where do I start.
On Friday I told my girlfriend that I couldn’t be with her anymore I gave her reasons but not all of them.
On Saturday I gave her all of them.
The icing on the cake was telling her I have feelings for someone I could have sworn I only saw as a best friend.
Needless to say I ripped her heart out and stomped on it.
She is pregnant and we already have one son who is about to turn two.
It’s so complicated and frustrating for everyone involved and I have just made this big awful mess.
I love her, I love her so much!
But how was I supposed to say I love you and go to bed with her every night when I had this big massive thing hanging over me. I couldn’t do it, not to myself but more importantly not to her.
Have you ever felt so sick you can’t eat and yet your body still tries to throw up because of the stress.
I’ve been like that for days.
Last night we slept together in the same bed for the las time. But it ended up being such an amazing night.
We had sex, no, we made love.
It was incredible, mind blowing and so intense. There was so much passion and meaning behind it. I could feel everything she felt. I had crazy butterflies the whole time.
It made it harder for us to try and start letting go but I don’t think either of us would change that night for anything.
I’m currently in the spare room wondering what she’s thinking while she lays in bed. Wondering if I’m on her mind.
I will always love her no matter what.
It’s hard, its so hard.
But I can’t hurt her more then I have and right now I’m not myself.
Lately all I feel like doing is disappearing, I feel like everyones lives would be easier if I wasn’t around. Who knows she might be better off without me.
I broke her heart, and I broke mine too.
I don’t know what’s going to happen later on down the track.
All I know for now is that I’m not a good enough person to be her girlfriend right now but I’ll make sure I’m a good enough person to be in her life.
I need to become myself again

My life

Is amazing. Absolutely amazing.
Krysten and I have built a family, we have a beautiful home.
Landon is growing up so fast, sometimes I just watch him and he’s learned so much since I first met him.
He’s such a beautiful boy.
Like every other kid he has days where he sooks and throws tantrums but not very often.
I love him so much.
Watching him grow up, raising him with krysten is so amazing, so overwhelming and wonderful.

Now we have another baby on the way, due in October and we couldn’t be more excited.

I love my life.
I love my family.

fuckmelikeaduck: omg heart just melted.

fuckmelikeaduck:

omg heart just melted.

together-f-o-r-e-v-3-r asked:

I don't want to come off as being rude, Im just wondering. Does your wife actually have sex with the donor or does he just... donate?

Hahahaha nah she definitely doesn’t have sex with him.
To put it bluntly lol he came in a cup and I injected it into her with a needleless syringe :)

BFP

iamkrystenleigh:

IM PREGNANT!

(Source: )

Why do people always say it’s healthy to have fights in a relationship?
I don’t get it.
I’m not a fighter.
I hate it.
If I ever fight with my girl straight away all I want to do is hug her and hold her tight in my arms because fighting feels wrong.
Fighting with the love of your life feels wrong.

bro-j0b: bro-j0b: The girl on the far right of this picture is my dear friend Crystal. She died yesterday in a car accident and this is the only picture I have that the both of us are in from the past year. I didn’t know losing someone could effect me so much but I miss her like crazy and I still can’t believe she’s gone. A stupid decision from a young boy to drink and drive has led to both his and her death and 4 others to be in critical condition. I’m so thankful no more are gone but she was the happiest, most lively person I’ve ever known and life in this town has been so solemn since she left. Everywhere you go there’s people crying, people carrying flowers to the memorial site. She was an incredible person. Yes, I will reblog this picture many times because no one deserves to go through the pain that this town is going through because of careless mistakes. Don’t drink and drive. The days aren’t getting any easier, I still cry quite often. I can’t hold it together, but I know I have to try.

bro-j0b:

bro-j0b:

The girl on the far right of this picture is my dear friend Crystal. She died yesterday in a car accident and this is the only picture I have that the both of us are in from the past year. I didn’t know losing someone could effect me so much but I miss her like crazy and I still can’t believe she’s gone. A stupid decision from a young boy to drink and drive has led to both his and her death and 4 others to be in critical condition. I’m so thankful no more are gone but she was the happiest, most lively person I’ve ever known and life in this town has been so solemn since she left. Everywhere you go there’s people crying, people carrying flowers to the memorial site. She was an incredible person.

Yes, I will reblog this picture many times because no one deserves to go through the pain that this town is going through because of careless mistakes.

Don’t drink and drive.

The days aren’t getting any easier, I still cry quite often. I can’t hold it together, but I know I have to try.